Get Sirius

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

I was buying a pack of gum at a convenience store the other day and noticed that I was on 5 video cameras. In addition, my every move was closely monitored by the cashier behind the counter.

Today I read that pirates have captured a $100 million supertanker near the Somali coast. They just drive their little boats along side, toss a grappling hook over the edge and now the Sirius Star belongs to Mr. Pirate and company.

Seems like maybe the convenience store could provide a little security training to ocean going vessels.

Maybe part of the problem is that the Sirius, which is about a fifth of a mile long, is operated by 25 people.

25.

McDonalds uses 26 to manage the breakfast rush.

Well you know me, Mrs. H. I say, if you can’t beat em, join em.

That’s right. I’m going to get a black eye patch, and a bottle of rum and get on the bandwagon. Not exactly sure what I’ll do with a thousand foot supertanker, but I’m pretty sure the local pawn shop will be part of the solution.

Maybe I should start with fishing boats at Lake Shelbyville.

Do you know where I can buy an arm hook?

Mike

Dear Captain Hook,

Congratulations on your new career choice.

Definitely start with raiding tackle boxes and beer coolers. Then it’s a small step to international waters.

Or you could just get two eye patches, drink the rum, and pretend like its every other Wednesday night.

Mrs H.