Bunny Hill

Dear Mrs Higgins,

As you know, I’ve taken up snow skiing. Totally typical behavior for someone in their prime and in top physical condition.

I’m telling you though, the preparation ritual for a day on the slopes is something straight out of middle ages. (I’m guessing you remember those days)

It starts with the getup.

I have these high-tech socks, with which I could pretty much walk across Antarctica without shoes if I wanted to. (and I’m thinking about it)

Then there are the high-tech longies. Really didn’t want white, but that was all they had in stock. They are the only things in North America whiter than my legs.

Next comes the shirt of pain. Ok, that’s not what its called, but “if the shoe fits…” and it really, really doesn’t.

I paid more for this stupid-ass, sweat wicking, armour all, pro athlete shirt than any shirt I’ve ever bought. They said at the sporting goods store: “its supposed to be tight.”

Yeah well, I’m supposed to breath. And, at 9000 feet that's hard enough without wearing this stupid corset.

And, after shoe-horning my chassis into this thing I had the misfortune to walk past a mirror.

Oh boy.

Think: 10 lbs of bleep in a 5 pound bag.

Gandhi, I ain’t.

Ski pants, sweatshirts, coat, gloves, hat, goggles, the preparation continues.

Now I’m excited. I‘m lightheaded. I’m out of breath. I’m sweating. I’m really exerting myself.

And then, …. I put on the other ski boot.

Who in the world ever invented these stupid things. Getting into them is a freakin workout. (pretty much need a nap after, but who could possibly sleep with these f.ing things on)

Well, its been a good start. Not sure how to get myself to the ski runs from here, but I did find the pub.

I love this sport.

Mike

Dear Mike,

I caught your smart assed remark about the middle ages. For your information, that was the class ahead of me.

But speaking of “in their prime and in top physical condition” Is that somebody I know?

Good that you took up another sport.

Just so you know: it supposed to be outdoors.

Mrs H