Having it my way

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

Working out on the road a few days ago, I needed to stop and grab some lunch.

As you know, I’m all about the health food, so I’ve decided on tofu and bean sprouts.

Unfortunately this particular interstate exit doesn’t have Tofu King, so I settle for a double whopper with cheese.

Then the guy behind the counter asks me “what size?” Now, I’m a little confused. I thought I had kind of settled this with “double."

You mean like what sized cow do you have to knock down to get this baby on the grill, or what?

Turns out the size is for fries and drink. Oh.

Anyway, I go for medium, which I figure is a safe bet, and the fry portion looks perfect. Then he pulls out about a half gallon of Coke, which I assume is for the family of four in line behind me.

Nope. All mine. I can’t even pick it up with one hand.

I’m wondering what the large is like until I look across the restaurant and see a guy with his face in what appears to be a wash tub. Oh.

As I’m finishing my meal and wondering why I’m having so much trouble losing weight, I notice that BK is now in the fine gem business.

Yup. Some kind of Pink Panther movie promotion that includes necklaces with pink stones.

Ok, I’ve seen the crowns. In fact I was wearing one during lunch - kinda makes me feel regal. (and don’t think folks don’t notice, they do)

But I was wondering how many people purchase jewelry here.

Honey, I’m home! I brought supper! And a little something for our 25th wedding anniversary! Hey, who needs ketchup?

Anyway Mrs H, I know your birthday is coming up. I think you’re going to be very pleased this year. (and could include onion rings!)

Mike



Dear Mike,

Lets recap: you were a little confused.

Do you have any new information?

Hate to take away from you feeling regal, but I think the crowns are for kids.

And lets just skip exchanging birthday presents this year.

Mrs Higgins