Media Bias

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

With the elections over I thought we were past all this slanted spin on every political story.

I was wrong.

Don’t know if you’ve been following the story, though its hard not to the way the press has been forcing it on us: the lynching of our Governor Blagojevich.

I’m telling you the press has been ridiculous with these trumped up charges that are hardly worth mentioning.

Trumped up charge #1: selling the senate seat vacated by President Elect Obama.

Well comrade, this is called “revenue”. Its part of running a “business” in a free trade place we call America.

This anti commerce commie press has really got to realize that profit is a good thing. Next we’ll be closing down lemonade stands.

Trumped up charge #2: withholding state payments to a children’s hospital until contributions are made to his office.

Ok, this sounds bad. But the one question I haven’t heard anyone ask is: are these kids really sick?

Oh, no Mr. Reporter bypasses the key questions to maliciously tar the Governor’s good name.

Trumped up charge #3: getting high paid, cushy jobs for his wife in exchange for state contracts.

Here is a man trying to do something to help out around the house. Sorry to inform the anti-family press, but taking care of the Mrs. is what we call family values.

Anyway Mrs. H, I’m sure this is just a tempest in a teapot. After the press finds somebody else to viciously attack, Rod will coast himself into the senate. And I’ve already ordered my “Blago for President 2016” t shirts.

All he needs is a real “law and order” VP. I wonder what Elliot Spitzer is doing these days.

Mike


Dear Mike,

The only place your buddy Rod is going to “coast into” is the penitentiary. Maybe Mrs. Blago will have an adjacent cell.

Did you say “law and order” and “Elliot Spitzer” in the same week?

Keep the tshirt, boy. Your car is always dirty anyway.

Love and kisses,

Mrs H.

Welcome to Walmart

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

I know we are in the throes of a recession bordering depression.
Things are bad. Way bad.

Every day the news gets worse. Another bank closes. Stock market plummets.

Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, Fannie Pack, all in big trouble.

So I was only a little startled to see that Friday after Thanksgiving there were lines at Best Buy several hours before they opened at 4am.

4am. Best Buy. Holy Shit! Really?

I’ve seen pictures of the lines from the last depression. Unshaven guys with tattered clothes standing in line for a bowl of soup.

Now we’re looking at folks, just as troubled, just as passionate, scoring great deals on iPods and DVD players.

I’m thinking that if there really was a depression, would anyone want ANYTHING from Best Buy? (think: food, shelter, clothing, digital cameras)

So, anyway Mrs. H, with all respect for the depression you went
through, but this seems a little like depression lite.

And here is the kicker: a greeter at a Walmart in New York city was crushed to death as the store opened on black Friday (aka black and blue Friday)

Crushed to death.

By people trying to save money on Christmas presents.

I haven’t been so confused about how we celebrate Jesus birth since
“don we now our gay apparel”

Not everyone understands the true meaning of Christmas. That’s why, I’m off to buy a couple electric deer for the front yard, to set an example for the entire neighborhood.
(hope folks don’t think I’m too religious)

Be careful at Walmart,

Mike


Dear Mike,

Yeah. You’re an example alright.

Go light up your deer. Hopefully the neighbor kids won’t “arrange” them this year.

Mrs H.