A nation headed in a wrong direction

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

As you can tell by the political ads this election season, our nation is clearly headed in the wrong direction. I’m not talking about partisan politics, or unemployment, or health care or any of that really hard to understand stuff. I’m talking about something important.

The Chicago Bears cheerleaders, aka Honey Bears, are gone.

Yeah, you read that right. They’re gone.

Attending my first Bears game at Soldier Field in quite a while, I was taken by the revamped stadium. The architects may have come from a background of bed pan designers, but the place is shiny and impressive all the same.

Settling in to my seat, I of course, begin looking for my favorite “Monsters of the Midway,” and the Honey Bears - I think in that order.

“They’ve been gone for a while,” my date explains, followed by a fairly pointed: “Why?”

Why? I don’t want to bash your gender, Mrs. H, but frankly some girls just don’t get sports. They don’t understand the concept of a “football purist.”

With a remarkable lack of marketing prowess, the Honey Bears were replaced with guys in t-shirts and PE shorts waving big Bears flags.

Wow.

That’ll get the team motivated. “Hey Julius, did you see Frank waving that flag after the last field goal? I‘m fired up!”

No wonder the Bears offense is so anemic. You think a guy wants to risk injury catching a gravity defying touchdown pass to get Jerry and Carl to really start whipping those flags around?

I don’t think so.

So, one more part of our day to day lives that has been ruined by the Chinese. Where will it end.

Mike


Dear Purist,

Just watch the game. Your date should have spilled a beer on your lap.

The Chinese?

Mrs H