Health Care - Part 2

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

Ok, to follow up on my new hobby, which is getting medical treatment, I thought I’d relay my recent experiences.

My first doctor apparently has a friend who is putting an addition on his house, or maybe saving for a European vacation, and is looking for a revenue bump.

Enter me: the bump.

Well actually, I have a bump that needs repaired, and Doc 1 gets on the horn with Doc 2, and the next thing I know, another man, a complete stranger is touching my “Mommy said no no” places.

This guy happens to be African American. And since he is going to be cutting on me while Doc 3 has me knocked out, I’m humming Stevie Wonder music, quoting Maya Angelou, with a few vague references to "hope" and "change" tossed in. You know, kind of a “we are the world” moment.

Then today, in kind of a pregame warmup, I go in for a chest xray and blood sample. The girl in charge of the xray, who appears to be about 17, cheerfully introduces herself as a junior college student.

Uh, sorry, what?

Hopefully not a business major, but who knows? And couldn’t I get a graduate? Or at least somebody going to a 4 year school?

But alas, I’m in the system now with the ever drafty little gown, padding around in my socks going where I’m told and doing what I’m told.

Finally the surgical nurse runs me through the game day scenario. By now, I’m picturing myself lying on a table with a bunch of small engine repair students standing over me.

“Hey, anybody ever knock a guy out?”

This all kind of makes me miss the height and weight chart.

I wonder how many ski trips I could go on for what this will cost.

Mike


Dear Mike,

Keep your chin up little guy. This too will pass.
There's a time to ski, and a time to get fixed up.

Mrs Higgins.