Near Death Experience

Dear Mrs. Higgins,

Recently, I was golfing with a guy I work for at his country club. The day was perfect: not a cloud in the sky, light breeze, warm but not too hot. The course is one of those with mature trees, and beautiful settings on tees, greens, and all around.

Like a lot of country clubs the course was sparsely populated. Seemed like we had the whole course and day to ourselves.

We’d played about 6 holes and I cannot do anything wrong. I’m hitting fairways, landing on greens, making putts, just really relaxing, playing well, and having a great time.

In the middle of the 7th fairway a real pretty girl drives up in a golf cart. Sunlight is shining off her hair and smile as she stops and asks if we’d like something to drink. I pondered her question for the briefest of moments and responded that a beer might be nice.

She bounced gracefully out of the cart and pulled out an iced cold can of Heineken and asked if this would be ok. I pondered her new question for the duration it takes light to traverse the width of a dime, and said that it would be great.

Then, as I reached for my money clip, she stopped me, smiled sweetly and said “I really can’t take your money.”

That’s when I started looking at the sky. I expected the next moment to be drawn inexplicably toward a huge light - wonderful and warm and inviting . I also looked closely at her feet. Were they actually on the ground or was she floating.

It was only an instant, but so real.

Then: I came back. Just not my time, I guess.

Thought you’d want to know: I’m back.

Mike

Dear Mike,

Glad you got back: from Stupidville.

By the way, you owe your buddy about $6 for that Heiny from Heaven. Guests don’t pay for anything at a CC, but members do and then some.

Maybe you ought to keep your blue collar ass on the public course.

Sit up JUST a little straighter,

Mrs H